A graduation moment to cherish and behold

By Gina Sternfels
NOLA Catholic Parenting

When our kids were younger, I remember having a conversation with someone who asked when I first saw confidence in my son with autism. I did not know how to answer that question and wondered if I would ever see that in my son. If he did have a confident moment, would I know? 

With autism, life is different for us and our other boys. I know my son well, so I can do my best to make assumptions and empathize easily with him. However, since we started “Spelling 2 Communicate” (S2C) – a program through which a person with autism can point to letters on a board as an alternative communications method – we have seen glimpses of his confidence in small ways over the last few years.  

We knew he could handle more and wanted to do more, and even if he could not tell us, we started presuming he wanted to do more. Not being conversational, he has made so much progress in his idle time regarding what he could handle socially. Participating in life looks different for him, and that is OK. He is still teaching us that. 

During practice for his graduation ceremony, I saw him walk in with a big smile. Seeing him do so well filled me with joy, and he looked happy. I was there to make sure I knew what to expect, so I could discuss and prepare him to stay mentally and physically regulated. I expected graduation to go well, but there was so much more. Just like so many of you sitting in the churches and auditoriums watching your kids flip those tassels – thinking, “They did it!” – we had that moment with our son with autism, too. 

He walked out with a beaming, big smile, looking around. That was it – he was present, confident and enjoying the moment!  

In those moments, we see our kids joy-filled, and we are also overflowing with joy for them. These are the moments we see the light of Jesus in our kids. I call them “behold” moments. The goodness that radiates in a moment like this is Jesus shining through them and through the moment. That joy of Jesus is what builds hope, faith and love in our hearts. 

Hebrews 2:12-13 says, “I will proclaim your name to my brothers, In the midst of the assembly I will sing your praise.” 

And again, “I will put my trust in him.”

And again, “Behold, I and the children whom God has given me.”

Whether we have an exceptionality or not, we are all children of God, with our unique talents and gifts to share in this world. Some of those gifts we receive are the love from so many people – our children and the many who help each of us grow. We have our family, friends, many therapists, the school community and, especially, our church family at Most Holy Trinity. 

We praise and thank you, our good God, for the grace of every moment and every person who helps guide us to move closer to you.

Gina Sternfels lives in Covington with her family. She is passionate about disabilities as she has a son with autism. She is a certified Catholic coach working with families, couples and individuals. She graduated from LSU, where she studied fine arts and psychology. She participates on the Archdiocese Commission on Persons with Disabilities and with Catholic Engaged Encounter.