Our homeschool year in review – learning humility

By Kristen Bourgeois
NOLA Catholic Parenting

As we are coming near the close of the school year, I wanted to take some time to reflect on our first year of homeschooling and all that we have learned.  I knew God had some things for me to learn this year.  And to be honest, it was my one hesitation in homeschooling; knowing that God was asking me to do this, and I was going to have to grow and change during this school year.

Knowing I was going to “grow” was a bit daunting, because growth usually accompanies pain or discomfort  – things from which I usually want to run and hide. But, I had decided that running from growth is no longer an option.

I had heard it said that the parent who is homeschooling also learns a lot. I guess in my naivety, I thought I was going to be learning the difference between a frog and a toad while teaching my boys science. But instead, I am realizing that I am being schooled in virtue. And, being schooled in virtue isn’t always pretty.

Upon hearing that I homeschool and that I homeschool a special needs child, I often get met with the assumption by others that I must be patient. The reality is I’m not patient, but God certainly is working on me and providing me with lots of opportunity to grow in patience.

I’ve found out, not just in parenting, but with homeschooling, as well, the importance of my own humility. Humility is about recognizing my own limitedness and asking for God’s help and believing in God’s mercy. God wouldn’t put homeschooling on my heart and then abandon me to it.

Humility has led to flexibility. It’s OK to change how we do school. I am a routine person, and my kids thrive while on routine. But, this year I have realized, routine can be a form of control. I discovered when I am controlling and our routines become rigid, it is because I am acting out of fear. My rigidity was making me irritable and making school not fun. Humility has led to flexibility and the willingness to do things differently.

It’s OK to change the things that aren’t working, instead of forcing them to work.  It’s OK to shelve a topic, lesson or teaching tactic until a later time. And, it’s OK to let time pass and try again.

Humility and flexibility have led to acceptance and the courage to advocate for my children and their needs. This has led to adjusting my expectations – adjusting my expectations with my kiddos and myself as a mother and a teacher.

I’ve learned how to accept my son as he is. Diagnoses and all.

Homeschooling was already on my heart. And, when we decided as a family to start homeschooling, I knew that our journey would look different than those homeschooling neurotypical children. While I discerned whether or not I could homeschool, I recognized I had an extra question ... Could I homeschool a special needs child?

I know I’m no hero. I just wanted to do God’s will and what was best for my son.  My job is a teacher, but my first job is a mother.  And, my first duty is to love. Giving my fiat every day to our heavenly father who has blessed me with this very special boy and his equally special siblings. And, on some days, I give my “yes” through tears.

The reality is that doubt and frustration have been a part of my experience with homeschooling this year. Am I doing the right thing for my kids? But, this journey has also borne a lot of beautiful truths and growth.

I know the formation of our children is not purely academic achievements. St. John Paul II said, “Home is the school of love,” and his counterpart Mother Teresa said, “Love begins at home.” If I want my kids to know love and acceptance, it must start with me in our own home first. And snacks.

If you have homeschooling on your heart, just be prepared. You are going to need lots of snacks.

Kristen Bourgeois ​​is a wife and mother who grew up in New York and now calls New Orleans home. Kristen was a police detective for 15 years investigating crimes for a local police department.  Currently, Kristen is a stay-at-home momma with two boys and a girl. Kristen had a conversion while a detective and seeks to help parents find peace in the chaos of our daily lives. Hearing God’s voice and finding ways to pray is a passion of Kristen who loves to discover a new chaplet or prayer app and share the Good News! Kristen loves adventure, traveling on horse-back, glamping, puppies and watching Disney’s Bluey with her kiddos.